My Review of Lord I'm Ready to Be a Wife by Christine Pembleton

I normally don't mention the aesthetics of a book however I have to begin by saying whoever said you can't judge a book by its cover was wrong. The front cover and title of "Lord I'm Ready to Be a Wife" alone will stop prospective readers in their tracks and compel them to pluck the book off the booksellers' shelves. I also love the pocketbook friendly shape and size. Did I mention the cover is just plain pretty?

Now, about the content between the covers... Christine Pembleton has penned an absolute must-have for women who want to exchange their bride's maid's dresses for wedding gowns - and aren't ashamed to admit it! "Lord I'm Ready to Be a Wife" begins with Pembleton's confession that she was once stubborn, narrow-minded, and selfish. In addition to her personality flaws, Pembleton further discloses that she was clueless about how to behave in the presence of men and how to attractively adorn her self-described ample curves.

The Introduction describes how Christine Pembleton wisely bonded with an older woman who mentored her and "showed her the ropes" of attracting the right man for her. After two years of painstaking persistence on both their parts, Pembleton's gruff, devil-may-care attitude gradually gave way to kindness, patience and love-worthiness. Her "spiritual mother" also taught her how to embrace the woman God created her to be - resulting in a total makeover from the inside out, head to toe...and then she met and married the man of her dreams.

Pembleton uses the biblical recounts of Ruth, Rebekah, Queen Esther and the poetic caricature of the Proverbs 31 Woman as templates for modern women seeking blissful marriage. I would caution women who have a history of making poor relationship decisions not to discard the practical advice given throughout the book.

There is one chapter where Pembleton's intent seems to be to help women distinguish the benefits married women reap, from a girlfriend's investment which may not pay rewarding dividends. I am concerned that overly eager women might view this segment as "confirmation" that they should pursue marriage to a man who has a proven track record of being irresponsible; believing that their virtues will make up for deficiencies in his character. "Lord I'm Ready to Be a Wife" is filled with sound, prudent advice. I highly recommend it for single women and single women's groups.

Building a Financial Legacy

I don't have a lot of regrets, but among the few is the fact that I spent the first half of my adult life disrespecting money and assuming it would always be available. I made a lot of unwise purchasing decisions and went about the business of personal finance blindly and without proper planning.

Consequently, I made a mess of my finances and nearly forfeited my future. I’m certain that many of you have heard a number of sermons, read books and attended at least one wealth building workshop. If so, I want to reinforce what you've learned by encouraging you to "kick it up a notch." I applaud those of you who are already operating in fiscal wisdom; but for those of you who may be headed down the same path that I was on; I implore you to make a U-turn immediately! Do whatever it takes to get yourself on not only stable, but fiscally fertile ground.

Step One: Take Ownership
For some, the following doesn't apply. But for anyone whose finances are bruised or in trouble because of something you've done, or perhaps failed to do, honestly admitting your error is the first step to recovery.

Step Two: Repent and Ask Forgiveness
Most of the time when we think of repentance and forgiveness, sins like lying, cheating, stealing, backbiting, etc. come to mind. But do you realize that misappropriating the monetary sustenance that God provides us with is a sin as well? Do you subscribe to God's financial premises or have you robbed Him of the tithes and offerings He requires? Malachi 3:10 KJV

Step Three: Identify Your Issues with Money
Money mishandling can stem from a number of different sources which could even be tied into your emotions. Sometimes people handle money recklessly for reasons that are rooted in anger or in an attempt to compensate for low self esteem. Ask God to give you the strength to take a cold, hard look at the how and why of your finances. If you earn a decent salary, but find that you're always chasing money - only to have it seemingly disappear, then there is an underlying issue that needs to be uprooted.

Step Four: Seek Wise Counsel
It's no secret that nearly everyone is feeling the affects of today's economic crunch. The extent to which you are having financial difficulties is relative to your own individual situation. You may be able to simply cut corners here and there to get your finances on track. But if you are drowning in debt, it would be wise to ask the Lord to direct you to a reputable financial professional who will help you map out a plan of salvation for your finances.

Step Five: Set Goals
The biggest mistake I made with my finances is not knowing where my money was going to end up. Sure, you know you have certain monthly bills that have to be paid or else you'll end up living in somebody's basement. You have to be able to accurately track your money. Most of us have Excel or a similar spreadsheet program already loaded onto our computers, but for those who need a template based program, perhaps you might do well by investing in an accounting program like Quicken. You will need to do some research to find which system works best for you.


Step Six: Get to Work!
Faith without works is dead. You can recite affirmations, consult the experts and pray three times a day facing the east all you want; but if you don't put legs on those prayers, affirmations and advice it's all for naught. If you're financially solid right now, consider enlarging your territory and build upon what you've established. But if you're in over your head and not earning enough money to pull yourself out of the hole, it might be necessary to seek a part-time job, start a typing service or do hair in your kitchen to earn extra money, for example. Who knows, this could turn out to be the catalyst to take you from a mundane, perhaps even worrisome life, to becoming a savvy money mogul.

Step Seven: LEAP!

In her book, Sisters are Cashing In, Marilyn French Hubbard, Ph.D. identifies the road to financial success as a "wealth-creation journey that enables you to gain both inner and external wealth." French Hubbard states that this journey requires you to believe in four principles: Love, Energy, Authenticity and Purpose, which form the acronym LEAP. She goes on to say "we have to love ourselves as we truly are, have energy for what we do, be authentic in our approach to life, be true to our word and (my favorite part) have a purpose and dream that makes us want to be bigger than who we are, to achieve something that benefits more people than just ourselves."

Declaration of Financial Empowerment

(an adaption of a submission from Black Enterprises Magazine).

"From this day forward, I declare my vigilant and lifelong commitment to financial empowerment and hereby pledge the following..."

1. I will bring my tithes to the storehouse.
2. I will use home ownership as a foundation for building wealth.
3. I will be proactive in managing my budget, credit, debt and tax obligations.
4. I will maximize my earning potential, live within my means and commit to saving and investing at least 10% of my income.
5. I will ensure that my investments are properly diversified and correspond to my current financial goals.
6. I will immediately commit to a program of retirement planning and investing.
7. I will preserve and protect my assets through proper financial and insurance planning.
8. I will ensure that my children receive a thorough education on financial and business matters.
9. I will ensure that my wealth is passed on to future generations through proper estate planning.
10. I will use a portion of my wealth to strengthen my community.

"A wise steward will not only manage her day-to-day financial operations prudently, but plans for her future and prepares an inheritance for her children's children."

Keep Him Covered!

My husband tries to control me.

My husband isn't romantic.

My husband doesn't manage money well.

My husband won't go to church.

My husband isn't motivated.

My husband drinks/abuses drugs.

My husband puts his family and friends before me.

My husband can't find a job.

My husband is discouraged.

My husband isn't___doesn't___ can't ___ or won't __

Wise Wives,

You may be experiencing one of the situations listed above. Hopefully it's only for a season. But when it seems as if you've been weathering the storm for an unbearably long time, I recommend that you talk to the One who can do something about it. That is my theme, my battle cry and those are the words I stand on.

Women traditionally seek solace in each other by talking out our problems and frustrations among those we feel we can trust. In most cases that's a healthy way to avoid or reduce stress. It does wonders when you're feeling low, to be able to chat with a girlfriend who can just allow you to vent and not help you pack your bags every time your husband leaves the toilet seat up. However when there is a persistent, crucial issue that needs to be resolved it takes more than rounding up the girls for an afternoon or weekend long session of husband bashing.

As Christians we dutifully recite "the just shall live by faith" Romans 1:18 KJV and "now faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen" Hebrews 11:1 KJV but when the rubber meets the road we have to go beyond regurgitating a string of words many of us learned as children in Sunday School.

We're sometimes blindsided by a situation and don't have the opportunity to address it specifically in prayer. So those of us who haven't spouted celestial wings yet do whatever comes naturally. We argue, hurl accusations, yell, negotiate, throw a tantrum, plead, negotiate, etc. But after exhausting all known remedies to your husband's shortcomings, the most wise thing to do is to consult the Lord. Cover hubby with prayer in anticipation that the results will be blessings beyond what you could even have imagined.

There's more to covering your husband than just asking God to fix him. There's a clause, if you will. While you're on your knees reporting him to THE AUTHORITY, ask HIM (God) to show you yourself and how you really fit into the picture. Ask Him to shine the light on you and if you might be contributing to the situation that you're so perplexed about. Could you handle things better? Are things as bad as they seem or are you watching/listening to someone who is telling you they are? What are your true motives? In getting the answers to these questions you might learn that the change might actually need to come from you. Then again, that may not be the case. In any event, the prescription to cure a malfunctioning husband is a fully functioning prayer life.

While You Wait

Do you realize that the moment you got married, you received a heavenly promotion? You alone have been appointed the most powerful position on earth where your husband is concerned. That is to operate as his personal prayer warrior, his spiritual shield and covering. God honors and will hear the fervent, effectual prayers of a woman who is petitioning Him on behalf of the man He gave her. Your prayer warrior position requires that you pray for him day in and day out, in season and out of season. Even, and perhaps especially, after he's angered or hurt you. I said after because I know there are only a select few who can pray while they are in the midst of an emotionally charged conversation or situation. But when you've had an opportunity to create some distance between yourself and the controversy, prayer is in order. There is no value in spitting out a of sarcastic imitation of prayer during the heat of an argument with your husband, just to show him that you're holier than he is. They call that hypocrisy.

Certainly you'll want God to save an unsaved or backslidden husband; but even husbands whose Holy Ghost is dripping from their coat tails need to be covered in prayer. In the most ideal marital situations, it is the wife's duty to consistently keep the shepherd of her home lifted in prayer. Pray for the Lord's anointing, plead the blood of Jesus for natural as well as spiritual protection. Pray for his finances, pray for him as a decision maker.

Also pray for people and situations that concern him. Pray for those he reports to - and for those who report to him, his co-workers. Pray for your in-laws, his friends and others who he is influenced by. Pray for his heart (men are masters at camouflaging their emotions). Pray for his dreams, that those seemingly impossible doors be opened for him.

Pray for every aspect of your husband's life, believing the outcome with be fulfilled, according to God's perfect will. If you feel your prayers are bouncing, enlist a seasoned, reputable prayer partner, perhaps an older woman who you know is rooted and grounded in the Word.

Walk in Victory

Speak in the affirmative. Act as though the work is already done. Operate as if your life depended upon your belief in the prayers you pray. Be a living example of the addage that says your attitude determines your altitude.

BFFs

Behold how good and pleasant it is for bretheren to dwell together in unity! Psalm 133:1

The following poem circulates on the internet perpetually. I felt it appropriate to include in this blog.

"Time passes. Life happens. Distance separates. Children grow up. Jobs come and go. Love waxes and wanes. Men don't do what they're supposed to do. Hearts break. Parents die. Colleagues forget favors. Careers end.
BUT.........
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles arebetweenyou. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it byyourself, the women in your life will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley's end. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you...Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters,sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, andextended family, all bless our life! The world wouldn't be the samewithout women, and neither would I."

Many wives say that their husbands are their best friends, your's truly included. Additionally, I am blessed to have several BFFs (Best Friends Forever). They are ladies in my circle of influence who are near and dear to my heart. Some of them are my age, some young enough to be my daughters, some seasoned enough to be my mothers. Some of them have become my friends within the past couple of years, others within the last twenty years; and then there are those precious jewels who have been my girlfriends since we all had waistlines (my BFF Thomasina still has a waistline, and I think she can probably still do a cartwheel). All of my friends are a necessary part of my life but not necessarily at the same time. I'm bound to my girlfriends by the interests we share; by business ventures, church or community involvement. One thing we all have in common is the love of Christ.

I've been told that you can only have one or two real friends and for most that might be true. Fortunately the relationships I have with the women I'm referring to have stood the proverbial test of time. I've also enjoyed short term, transitional relationships which were meaningful for the season in which they took place.

A woman who like me, has been blessed to have a loving, supportive husband and nuclear family is fortunate indeed. And I don't take that privilege lightly. It's such a treat for me to be in the company of my true, got-your-back-no-matter-what girlfriends.

I've heard women say I just don't trust other women or I don't get along with other women and I feel sad for them. Women who subscribe to the philosophy of mistrusting or avoiding friendship with other women based solely upon their gender have either had a very bad experience or have been trained to think that way from an early age.

Women have told me they don't trust other females or have girlfriends because the girl I thought was my best friend stole my boyfriend/baby's daddy/husband. They cut the friend off (and rightfully so) but let the cheating man off the hook with some sort of warning - placing the weight of the blame on the woman.

Food for thought: Some women will deny themselves the pleasure of having meaningful friendships with deserving women because they don't want to risk getting burned again, but continue to get involved in toxic relationships with the same man in a different suit.

But, as they say I digress to the benefits of having a girlfriend or two in your life. There are things you can share with your girlfriend that your husband can't - and doesn't even want to relate to. For example, your hormonal issues, the way the guy in the next cubicle is trying to take credit for your hard work, the woman in the alto section who you think gives your husband way too much attention... Those are conversations men often dismiss as "emotional" or as"female paranoia" - and sometimes they may even be right. I often tell my husband he can't relate to some of my feelings and opinions because he doesn't have a uterus! It's wonderful though, to have the freedom to bounce our feelings, be they ligitmate or not, off your girlfriends.

You can be real with your girlfriends; you don't ever have to be on. No age group has a monopoly on geniune relationships. They can be enjoyed during with the Pimply PMSing teen years, the neurotic, psychotic 20s, the Think-you've-got-it-all-together 30s, the Fierce 40s and, where I am today, the Fabulous 50s.

As with any relationship, the time spent and energies invested in establishing, cultivating and maintaining a relationship with girlfriends requires prioritizing and balance. You can't neglect your household, work or family in favor or your girlfriend, unless of course she is in crisis mode. In that same vane, the woman your kids call "Auntie" should not be sitting at your kitchen table every time your husband comes in from work and you shouldn't be running over to her house all of the time. There isn't a set calculation for what is considered reasonable and what is not. That is dictated by the needs of your household and should be agreed upon between you and your husband.

Imagine your life as a scaled down dart board. In the center, the bullseye, is Jesus, your spiritual core, the next "ring" represents your husband, then your family. The rings don't end there, and neither does your life. Our total being is made up of many components. Work, personal interests and non-nuclear relationships are among those components. A woman who excludes rich external relationships may not be aware of the myriad of benefits derived from having at least one BFF.

I encourage the outlets of lunch dates, chick flick nights, women's retreat, pamper parties, etc. Being involved with girlfriends in the proper context, can help you as a wife to maintain a sense of self and simply adds joy. If you're a person who can't get into female relationships, but would like to, email me and perhaps we can get to the root of the matter.

I conduct a powerful workshop for women entitled, Your Slip Is Showing, which addresses the development and maintenance of agape friendships between women. For information about how you can bring Your Slip Is Showing to your women's group, email me at wisdomforwives@gmail.com.


By the way in case you were wondering, the little ladies in the picture are two of my eight granddaughters.

Take a Time Out!

Fatigue: Refueling for Renewed Service

Fatigue can make a "nag" of anyone! Nothing goes further to make a woman less able to cope with unruly children, household or job crises and thousands of other mudane irritations. Scripture offers ways for women to reduce fatigue and avoid weariness.

• Support from an understanding husband or close friend helps you handle pressue and stree more effectively. Knowing that someone not only knows about the burden but comes along to help you bear up under the load makes every crisis more tolerable.


• Women are refreshed and invigorated by being able to walk away from burdens even if it's just for a few hours. Such time for yourself can provide renewal of energies and revival of spirt and can produce creativity and stimulate productivity.


• Women need to guard against overcommitment. Even good and godly pursuits must be weighed against the purposes of God. You must learn to say "no," determine to slow your frantic pace, resist the temptation to add more and more to your schedule. Busyness is not necessarily godliness. Perhaps your "R and R" should be Reprioritizing responsibilities and Rethinking free time.

Being tired is a physical affliction. Being weary, on the other hand is a spiritual attitude that results in part from blaming God for your own sinfulness. Life will never free you from fatigue, but fatigue can bring you to the point of setting aside the mundane cares of the world in order to open your heart and sould to the Lord. God can use fatigue to:

1. Cause you to look to Him for satisfaction


2. Administer correct as He pulls back His hand of strength to force you to slow down for refueling, and


3. Prepare you for a greater challenge.

God has promised to satisfy the weary sould and replenish faithfully the sorrowful heart. Sometimes that means "He makes me to lie down". Physical frailties may cause you to miss earthly fun and fellowship, but spirutal resources will enable you to grow stronger on the bed of affliction.

Split Second Bible Lesson: Mary and Martha

Martha's Viewpoint

When we visit friends and relatives we have a good idea of how they think and act. Jesus was no different. He appreciated the differences among His three friends and felt comfortable enough to offer constructive advice as to their priorities.

Martha's outlook on life was quite different from Mary's. It is possible that Martha was older and that her age figured into her personality and perspective. Martha's words and actions depict her as practical and efficient. Nothing is wrong with being practical and efficient if it doesn't interfere with the more important things in life. If it does, it can become a problem. God recorded important examples for us in Scripture (1 Corinthians 10:11), so we can learn from Martha's and Mary's recorded actions.

Mary's outlook
"And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word" (verse 39). If one were to read no further, one could assume Mary may have been a little lazy, leaving the needs of hospitality and hostess to her gregarious sister. It was Martha who invited Jesus into their home. It was Mary who simply sat at Jesus' feet, listening to Him talk. Who was the more hospitable, the more sociable? Who was more concerned about serving her Savior, Martha or Mary?

Maybe Mary was shy. But we should consider Jesus' evaluation of Mary's actions. "But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, 'Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.' And Jesus answered and said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her " (Luke 10:40-42).

In a nutshell, Jesus reminded Martha, the hostess-with-the-mostess, that while He appreciated all that she was doing for Him, she was missing out on things that matter most...The "good part which will not be taken away from her."

The key is to value the investment of being still, taking time out to hear from God; to rest the body and to commune with those we love.

Pressed Down, Shaken Together and Running Over!

Simply by virtue of the fact that you're able to sit in front of a computer and read this blog is testimony that you are abundantly blessed! It might not seem like it with today's fragile economy. After all, it was just a short while ago when we could spend $100.00 and bring home a trunk full of food. Nowadays you're fortunate if we're able to bring home half of that amount. Nevertheless we're blessed with abundance. Your abundance might not be the same as mine. Yours might be in clothing, whereas I happen to have an abundance of books. Some abundance is intangible, such as wisdom or talent.

Right now you might not recognize your abundance. Perhaps your bank statements don't reflect abundance, or maybe a turbulent climate in your household or on the job has clouded your ability to recognize your overflow. If that is the case it might not look like it, it certainly doesn't feel like it and as you read this you might be composing a list of "have nots" to refute my claim. Before you do that, take inventory of your blessings, both tangible and intangible.

So you say alright Venus, I've taken inventory and yes you're right, I have a lot of ____ and quite a bit of ____. Now what? I still don't have... peace on the job, money to pay my tuition, etc. To that I pose a question to you. What are you doing with your abundance? Hoarding it? Sitting on it? How about blessing someone with your overflow? It's a way to show the Lord your appreciation for the abundance He has blessed you with.

The Lord has this wonderful way of blessing us when and where we least expect Him to. A while back, I was an independent sales representative for a cosmetics company. I kept quite a bit of my inventory on the built-in shelves and cabinets in my home office. When I decided to end my cosmetics sales career, I still had a large amount of inventory that I couldn't possibly keep for personal use and I wanted to reclaim my shelves for books (and to expand my teapot collection). My first thought was to have some sort of clearance sale, but instead the Lord brought to mind that there are women in shelters who could be blessed with those items so I got on the telephone and contacted a wonderful organization here in Detroit that provides temporary housing to women who are victims of domestic violence. Upon speaking with the director of the facility I shipped several boxes of cosmetics. A short time afterward I received a very touching letter from the shelter, thanking me on behalf of their guests. The director shared with me that the women were delighted to receive those small but uplifting items, mostly because it let them know that someone cared about them. I, in turn am can truly boast of being continuously blessed with both spiritual, and natural abundance. As the saying goes, I might not have everything that I want, but I have everything that I need...and then some.

How about you? Is there a there a cluttered drawer or closet you've been promising to purge? Do you have an extra hour per week to visit a lonely senior or to volunteer to read at a pre-school? You might have an abundance of knowledge in a particular subject that you can pass on to someone else for their benefit.

Our generous heavenly Father has established a phenomenal principle of reciprocity. Bear in mind that abundance doesn't necessarily translate into houses and land or dollars and cents, mine certainly doesn't. Sometimes He repays us with the feeling gratification that only comes when you've know you've sown good seeds into someone else's life. That as they say, is priceless.

Split Second Bible Lesson

Those counted among the poor were the needy, the weak and those who were dependent - the orphans and the widows who were usually in the lower social classes and in need of protection from abuse and neglect. Virtually every prophet of the Old Testament prophesied against those who wrongfully oppressed the poor.

God provided for the poor through His principle of gleaning. Landowners were instructed to leave the remaining grain around the outer perimeters of the fields for the poor to gather. The courts, too, were admonished to deal justly with the poor.

Every Christian will be held accountable for how she has responded to those in need. One of the ways to judge relationship to Christ is how we respond to the hungry, the lonely, the naked and the low in spirit.

The first step to having our own needs met is to become poor in spirit recognizing that every heart separated from God is in spiritual poverty, which is far more tragic than physical poverty. The Lord has promised to provide freely for His children...and He uses us as conduits to provide those blessings one to another in time of need.

Read: Jer. 22:13-16, Matt. 25:31-46, and Acts. 6:1-6

Today's Pearls of Wisdom - The P31 Wife

You know her type. The house is immaculately clean. I mean the-Pastor's-Coming-Over-For-Dinner clean...every day! Her pantry resembles the shelves in a grocery store. Her flowers and landscaping are Home Tour calibre, and she grows her own vegetable garden. Her kids are well behaved, speak in complete sentences and even make eye contact when talking to adults. Her check book is always balanced and the bills are paid before the due date. This woman is or-gan-ized! Did I mention that she always smells like freshly baked pastry?

She's got this calendar thingy on her refrigerator that is color-coded so that there is no room for error in schedules and chore assignments. She's the Proverbs 31 Woman of the 21st Century and almost my complete opposite.

My mother-in-law, God rest her soul, was her generation's P31 Woman. The house my husband grew up in always looked like a show room and for years, he had a hard time understanding why I couldn't get it together the way his mother did. After all, she too had a full time j-o-b, was active in her church, and was also raising kids...and a husband (smile). So what was wrong with me? I wondered the same thing for years. Then one day it dawned on me that I simply wasn't her. Nor was I the blessed saint who raised me - my grandmother who also ran her house like a well oiled machine.

When I became a wife (again) some 23 years ago, I starting making futile attempts to keep all the balls in the air at once. I could probably pay a car note with the money I've spent on dry erase boards, Franklin Planners and other tools to help organize this circus I run on the corner of Wildemere and Thatcher.

After years of failure to become a Proverbs 31 Woman, I recognized that the blaring difference between me and the P31Women I know was not skills, but rather the choices we make in how we spend our time. Unlike the P31s, I spend a lot of time interacting with, and hands-on care for my family. On the other hand, the P31s tend spend much of their time doing, while I choose to spend more time being. This is not to be construed as an indictment against the Proud, the Few, the P31s; it's simply an observation of human nature.

My husband admitted that his childhood home was clean, almost sterile and so was the family's level of interaction. There were no story times, toys were shelved and on display in their original packaging rather than played with. Hugs and kisses were reserved for infants and toddlers. Conversation at the dinner table was limited mostly to the adults.

When I realized all of this, I chose to free myself from the guilt of not being a perfect housekeeper, but rather to enjoy my health, my family and the things I love being. I realize that revelation still doesn't afford me a license to be a slob. I learned to incorporate tools and habits which make my household what I like to refer to as organized chaos. My house is clean but not always neat. This year my garden is admittedly pitiful. Nevertheless my grandchildren and I splash about in their inflatable pool, hula-hoop, and make sorry replicas of sand castles like nobody's business.

I've just about mastered the art of multi-tasking. For example, I often take my laptop out onto the deck and chip away at my novels and blogs while the children play in the safety of our backyard. I do loads of laundry and serve my mom's lunch between episodes of Mr. Rogers and Caillou; and I still manage to crank dinner out at least five nights per week. That's in addition to my mom's breakfast, lunch and meds e-v-e-r-y day! Maybe that qualifies me to at least be an Associate P31 or a Suffragan P31.

A Word of Advice:
I would venture to guess that most of my readers are newlyweds or have very young families. At this stage in life it seems very important to please EVERYBODY. But I caution you to be sure to make relationships and quality time with your family a priority. If not, trust me one day you will look up from that mop pail and see a pair of long legs attached to the stranger who used to be your baby. The same one who currently paints your walls with peanut butter and jelly. Kids grow up way too fast. Enjoy these precious times while they're little because with kids, there are no do-overs. I wouldn't trade the love, joy and laughter we share for all of floors so clean you can eat off them and the neatly-folded-April-fresh laundry in the world.

Some of you might be feeling that you just don't measure up. Pray and ask the Lord to reveal what level of Proverbs 31 Woman He has made you to be. Perhaps you need strengthening and training in some areas, perhaps you need to substitute some activities for others. He will let you know just what is needed for your family. It's fine to have a role model as a template for how to run your house, but a Wise Wife realizes that one of the most detrimental things she can do is to measure her success or failure by someone else. Personally, I'm striving but not stressing to join the ranks for the blessed and highly organized.

Tip: There is a wonderful online community which offers a plethera of information and helpful hints for running your household more efficiently. Check it out! http://flylady.net/

Split Second Bible Lesson

In Proverbs 31, King Lemuel's sweet and well-meaning mother spelled out the characteristics of the woman he should consider marrying. She tediously listed the attributes that he should look for in the woman deemed worthy of carrying his honorable name and bearing his strapping sons and dainty daughters. I shared in a previous blog (dated June 18, 2008) that I did something very similar years ago when seeking the Lord for my perfect mate. The Queen Mother described a conglomerate of perfected traits that all of us wish we possessed. However when doing so, she was not gazing across a flowery meadow and pointing out an identifiable fair maiden. What mother wouldn't want her future daughter-in-law to be all that? The P31 Woman was, as described, a rare jewel... illusive and perhaps even non-existent in totality.

The virtuous wife/homemaker/entrepreneur described in Proverbs 31 is by all means a role model by which every Christian woman should aim for. We have to keep in mind that, as with all other aspects of our lives, we are a perpetual work in progress. So if and when we fall short of our aspirations to reach P31 status, we should not wallow in our shortcomings, but rather reevaluate our goals and continuously seek to understand God's perfect will for our lives. By the way, have you ever noted the fact the Proverbs 31 woman had servants?

Our God is loving, compassionate, all-seeing and all-knowing. He is even aware when we're perplexed about how to get grape juice stains out of little Kenya's pink church dress. We're instructed to take His yoke upon us for His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Matthew 11:29-30. In the meantime we are to acknowledge Him in all things, including what we consider the big as well as the small. Proverbs 3:3-5. So while we are busy going about His business, He is taking care of ours...no matter how trivial we might think it to be.