Showing posts with label Christian dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christian dating. Show all posts

Thursday, June 18, 2009

My Review of Lord I'm Ready to Be a Wife by Christine Pembleton



I normally don't mention the aesthetics of a book however I have to begin by saying whoever said you can't judge a book by its cover was wrong. The front cover and title of "Lord I'm Ready to Be a Wife" alone will stop prospective readers in their tracks and compel them to pluck the book off the booksellers' shelves. I also love the pocketbook friendly shape and size. Did I mention the cover is just plain pretty?

Now, about the content between the covers... Christine Pembleton has penned an absolute must-have for women who want to exchange their bride's maid's dresses for wedding gowns - and aren't ashamed to admit it! "Lord I'm Ready to Be a Wife" begins with Pembleton's confession that she was once stubborn, narrow-minded, and selfish. In addition to her personality flaws, Pembleton further discloses that she was clueless about how to behave in the presence of men and how to attractively adorn her self-described ample curves.

The Introduction describes how Christine Pembleton wisely bonded with an older woman who mentored her and "showed her the ropes" of attracting the right man for her. After two years of painstaking persistence on both their parts, Pembleton's gruff, devil-may-care attitude gradually gave way to kindness, patience and love-worthiness. Her "spiritual mother" also taught her how to embrace the woman God created her to be - resulting in a total makeover from the inside out, head to toe...and then she met and married the man of her dreams.

Pembleton uses the biblical recounts of Ruth, Rebekah, Queen Esther and the poetic caricature of the Proverbs 31 Woman as templates for modern women seeking blissful marriage. I would caution women who have a history of making poor relationship decisions not to discard the practical advice given throughout the book.

There is one chapter where Pembleton's intent seems to be to help women distinguish the benefits married women reap, from a girlfriend's investment which may not pay rewarding dividends. I am concerned that overly eager women might view this segment as "confirmation" that they should pursue marriage to a man who has a proven track record of being irresponsible; believing that their virtues will make up for deficiencies in his character. "Lord I'm Ready to Be a Wife" is filled with sound, prudent advice. I highly recommend it for single women and single women's groups.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

While You Wait (For Single Women Anticipating Marriage)


The month of June is almost synonymous with weddings and most of us are likely to attend at least one. Many unmarried women will sit quietly with a pasted on smile, wondering...when will it be my turn? Well, while waiting for Brother/Dr./Reverend/Right to find you, your focus should be purely on making certain that you are a whole person in the Lord. Other than being Mrs. ______. What are your dreams and goals? Are you well traveled? What is your credit score, Have you completed your education? Is there a spiritual mission tugging at your heart? Are you walking in your calling or are you waiting to get married before fulfilling this part of your destiny according to God's perfect will?



Being single is an important time to prepare for marriage. It can also be a time to experience a closer communion with God. As we seek God to cleanse us of the world and help us become the kind of wife that would bless someone, we will soon find that we are not lonely. First, the Lord would begin using us to bless others; then we will find we are content in Him.



Eventually, if your being married is God's will for you, He will bless you with a wonderful mate so that both lives can be a witness for Him. However, if a marriage cannot glorify the Lord, then it would be better to remain alone. There are worse things than being alone. One of these is to be out of God's will by compromising and marrying someone who is not chosen for you by God.



The mistake many women make is putting their lives on hold for fear that they will miss the opportunity to meet the right man. God certainly does honor marriage and holds it in high esteem; however He wants us all to be all that we can be in Him first and foremost.



Sadly, too many delay a calling then try to play catch up after marriage only to find that they've forsaken their first love - Jesus Christ, in order to obtain the love of someone who may not be God's perfect choice for a life partner.



Admittedly, I had what I call a practice marriage many years ago. My former husband and I were as different as night and day, however; at the tender age of 21 I thought I could "fix" all the things that were wrong with "him." It wasn't until years later that I realized our failed marriage wasn't all his fault. I came to the realization that I hadn't been true to myself - or to God when I married him, yet I expected God to just fix it.



Life as a single woman, focused on pleasing God can be rich and fulfilling. When I met the man the Lord had prepared for me, I was not (actively) looking for a mate. I was a single mother of a 4-year-old at the time and was diligently seeking to please the Lord. Was I perfect, oh my God no! I was very flawed and to be honest still had lingering emotional (not physical) scars stemming from my failed marriage. Not to mention the fact that I had given up on obtaining a college education or a professional career. Nevertheless, the Lord knew the desires of my heart, the desires that HE had placed there - and brought them to pass.



While I waiting for the Lord, I prepared myself for marriage by listening, watching and asking questions of those who were where I wanted to be in life. Spiritually, as well as naturally. I began to act on my faith and one day typed a list of the characteristics I wanted my new husband to have. I kept that "grocery" list taped to the inside of the tiny bible that I carried everywhere with me. I can honestly say is all that my husband is all that I asked for - and then some. To God Be the Glory!



Note that I didn't ask God for superficial things like wealth and riches. Hmm, I wonder what would have happened if I had listed wealth? Oh well. Instead, I asked him for things like saved, holy, romantic, educated, a good sense of humor, etc. I was unaware that I had listed "faithful" twice. Couldn't hurt - huh?



In 1984, my husband, my sole mate FOUND ME at the very church I'd attended the majority of my life. An usher seated me next to him during our annual church family's business meeting. I had arrived late, with my young daughter in tow. Since I was late I couldn't sit in the area I customarily sat in and it was so crowded that there wasn't even a seat for her, so I she had to sit on my lap. She kept kicking her "future father" and fortunately he was patient and understanding. Not long afterward, we began dating. After we had only been dating for a short period, he unabashedly told me that the Lord revealed to him that I was going to be his wife. At first I wasn't convinced because the Lord did not reveal that to me until much later. We went through several trials as a couple, including breaking off our engagement originally. It wasn't until we reconnected and both diligently sought the Lord, that we were married. The rest as they say, is history.



So ladies, be encouraged in the Lord and occupy yourself with wholesome, healthy activities until the man of your dreams comes to FIND YOU.



Recommended reading



The Bible

Proverbs 3:4-6

Proverbs 18:22

Psalm 37:4

Ruth 3:18

Esther 2:17



Inspirational Fiction

Brown Paper Bag, by Venus Mason Theus

He's Fine, But is He Saved? by Kimberley Brooks