A while back, the Lord gave me a clear, concise directive: Humble Yourself. I'm the first to admit that I thought myself to be ok in the Humility Department, but since I don't claim to know more than God does, I simply said, "yes Lord." Realizing that I'm a work in progress, I am seeking His face to show me the areas in which I need to improve and I've been led to share my thoughts, observances and experience with you as well. Perhaps there is one among you who also feels a tug at your heart to take it down a notch. One of the most effective ways any of us can win a heart, an argument or a soul is through genuine humility. There is no greater turn off than a person who is puffed up and full of him or herself. In women it is unattractive and can be detrimental to relationships with those we care the most about.
In the case of proving a point, I found that there are four deadly words... I told you so. When it turns out that you indeed were right and your husband was wrong, it doesn't add any value for you to gloat. What can be gained by holding it over his head if you have more education or a better paying job than your husband?
Humility begats humility. Like any other aspect of our lives, we need to study our husbands. You will learn that there are some things that remain constants. For example, my husband is not big on asking for directions when road traveling so sometimes we wind up taking "the scenic route." There was a time when I would have yakked his head off and maybe renamed him wrongway. But now I simply keep some good reading and a journal in our vehicles. Unless our destination is time sensitive I just relax and try to enjoy the ride.
If you pay close attention, you'll notice that the enemy also tends to be a creature of habit and when he finds your Achilles' Heel he will try to use it against you many times over. Note the key words, phrases and behavior that cause conflict between you and your spouse; make a conscientious effort to resist the urge to tell him off or rub his nose in it when he errs. Strive along with me to maintain a Christ-like attitude when tempted to show off, or let him have it.
True Story...
Many years ago, a saved sisterfriend of mine served the Lord day in and day out. However, her husband didn't attend church and had no plans of ever becoming a bible-toting Christian. While my friend confidently prayed for her husband's salvation and deliverance, she went about the business of serving the Lord and faithfully discharging her responsibilities on the homefront. She invited him to worship services and church functions but never nagged or preached hell-fire and brimstone when he declined.
He occasionally agreed to attend outings and functions sponsored by, but not held at the church. In 2003, the Lord drew this reluctant husband to Himself during our marriage retreat. By being faithful to God and maintaining a humble spirit, this Wise Wife won her unsaved husband's soul to Christ and solidified their marriage.
As wives, it is our responsibility to set the tone of the household. Any chicken head can plant her hands on her hips and gloat or verbally attack her husband. It is noteworhty that being humble does not equate being subservient but rather; a Wise Wife is a women who is strong, confident in who she is and is controlled by the Holy Spirit.
Split-Second Bible Lesson: Esther Chapters 1 - 10
In today's vernacular, Queen Vashti blew it! She was puffed up and pride filled, she thought she was "all that." However her pride and vanity caused her to lose her plum status and was replaced by Esther, a young orphaned Jewish woman whose humility and obedience to God and to her uncle/surrogate father, Mordecai blessed her and enabled her to be a blessing to many others. Her humility and godly obedience led to the deliverance of an entire nation which had been targeted for annihilation. On the other hand, Vashti's high and haughty attitude caused her to be stripped of her title and evicted from the posh amentities and lifestyle she had become accustomed to.
A man's pride shall bring him low; but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit. Proverbs 29:23 (KJV)
